Friday, January 14, 2005

We really do live on the Island of Faeries and Leprechauns

The news media today, that agressive armadillo bristling with microphones, and babbling with a cacophony of questions, spent a good deal of time chasing Bus Eireanns director Bill Lilley around.

This was due to a little gaff his company made with some information that was inadvertently released into the Datasphere.

It seems there was, or rather wasn't as Mr. Lilley was later to claim, an horrific screeching metal, limb rending, bone fracturing crash had occured on the N11. Eleven were injured, and emergency services were on the scene, bandaging wounds and cutting screaming passengers out of the bus's flaming carcass. RTE the national broadcaster turned up with an OB (outside broadcasting unit) prepared to broadcast this national tragedy over the airwaves, only to find, well, nothing much at all.

The culprit of all this confusion was a press release that was "mistakenly" issued as part of a drill. I always knew bus Eireann were taking the piss, and that the Journalists of this country (as proved by the repeated false stories planted by the inimitable will print anything without fact checking, due to their assumption that all the other agencies have done so first.

That taken into account, I have some news announcements to make myself.

1. Marijuana was legalised today by Dail Eireann by an overwhelming majority.

2. The English have withdrawn from Northern Ireland.

3. All of the Gards that were involved in the Reclaim the Streets expression of police brutality have been jailed.

4. The Americans are no longer using Shannon as a launching point for the Illegal Occupation in Iraq.

5. Forty million in tax Euros have been diverted from the incessant building of Motorways into housing the homeless.

6. Last but not least 900 billion Euros have been found in a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow in Laois and will be divided equally among all the citizens of Ireland.

This has been a dispatch of the Faeries and Leprechauns news service, a division of Sky broadcasting corporation.

Peace and Hope



Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home