Monday, June 20, 2005

Tall Ships Hit Dublin

" yea, they have slain the servants with the edge of the sword; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee." Job 1:16

Hidden was I, in the aft storage locker of the ship, cloaked with shadows, a stowaway from port taxes.

I had nay but dry buscuits and was ridden with scurvy when the Death Freighter attacked and the black hearted pirates boarded us.

Our Captain was the first to be killed, and then the rest of the crew.

The bosun was nailed, crucifixion style, to the mast. They took his eyes, the dark bloody sockets still stare at me in dreams.

The rest of the men were beheaded, their decapitated heads nailed to the prow of the ship in place of the beauty of Lillith, the figurehead.

Some crew were keel hauled with wire. Some crew were drowned.

All the heads were taken and spiked, for the pleasure of the Pirates Captain Crazyfuck.

Crazyfuck cackled as he waved a bottle in one hand and held his engorged penis in the other. Drunk and raving, his "jolly roger" tatooed bell end darted in and out of the mouths of the skewered heads.

I existed for three days in fear and trembling, eating the strange moss that grew damp and glowed on the roof of my storage locker and hearing Crazyfuck's heavy step bend the boards above my head.

His constant wheezing laughter only ceased when he slept.

Then came the day we docked and the Captain was poised to let his bilge rats loose on the City of Dublin.

However as it turned out, they were not prepared for the actions of a brave traffic warden and a fat off duty employee of Securicor.

You people don't know how close you came.


Peace and Hope



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